written thesis..........

I feel like I've entered a black hole of space and time. I emerge, just so I can re-emerge. I'm trying to finish my thesis and I have begun to question sanity. Being an academic is difficult, yet rewarding work.

Seriously, why did I have to pick such a complex topic? I want/need more time to finish and I just don't have it. "Happiness comes having accomplished the impossible" (The quote I am living by until this is done). !!!!!!!!!!

Merging plants and art is a challenge for art.

Merging theories of art practice, environmentalism, sustainability and social evolution is a challenge for anybody.

Merging sustainability with functionality is underway.

This is just my style: to take the challenge. Offer up all I physically and mentally have to give. To push myself to the limit. Everytime I even begin to think that "I can't" I just want to prove I can.

Psychosustainium is down and I miss it. Actually its still in existence in my dreamscape, a place I go while sleeping (when I do).

It wasn't up nearly as long as work of that nature needs to be- the plants JUST started budding and thriving. The space was just becoming acquainted with re-visitors, those who began to use the space for its worth: restoration and meditation.

So I arrive to: I need a new outlet soon... collaboration with architects and interior designers is on the brain (in moments when my written thesis is not). And the body of work to go on mountain ridges.

Also I've learned something: I can't MAKE myself write well. I can make myself write, but I can't make myself write well. I will keep trying till my eyes go out and my fingers bleed. Its not that bad...I know I am my worst critic... this will get done because I will ensure that it does. This degree has been my dream for years now... to get this degree, to further my body of work, to deepen my environmental ethic and inform my stewardship. I'm almost there. There is bright white light at the end of this academic tunnel, and I'm finding my way, trying my best to stay upright and strong while en route.